


There's something about you

by deanisbiandsoami



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Abusive John Winchester, Angst, Cas POV, Cas is being cute, Cas isn't helping, Dean is being stupid, Dean's POV, Dean's alone on Christmas Eve, Denial, Dirty Talk, Endverse, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Hell, Hurt, Hurt Dean, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Pining, Purgatory, Roadhouse, Shameless Smut, Smut, and Dean's hurt, and kind of Major Character Death, at first, because gay sex, changes POV, erm, i guess, ish, it's not ever really fluffy, maybe I'm listening to the wrong music, mention of a lot of sex, mention of gay sex, mentioned Sam/Jessica, more gay sex, not only gay, some day I'll get to fluff, somehow I just don't get inspired to Fluff by songs, still not fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2017-12-31 20:01:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanisbiandsoami/pseuds/deanisbiandsoami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean was all for one night stands. Don't get to know the girl… or guy for that matter. Hot = Fuck. Dean was good looking,  charming and had a great body. He had never much problems to get the person in his focus into bed. The only thing he wasn't expecting was to fall in love...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by the song 'Cry' by Rihanna (that'S also why the fic'S called cry... noone's crying in here... well not yet)

Dean was all for one night stands. Don't get to know the girl… or guy for that matter. Hot = Fuck. Dean was good looking, charming and had a great body. He had never much problems to get the person in his focus into bed. The only thing he wasn't expecting was to fall in love.

He was in the roadhouse once again, the bar was full and most of the people knew him, some of them he had sex with before. There were always a few unknown faces around. That day one of those faces caught his eye. The guy had bright blue eyes, pink, chapped lips and the prettiest face known to man. He was just a bit smaller than Dean, he was thin but one could see faint outlines of muscles through his tight white shirt. The sleeves were rolled up, exposing lightly tones arms with skin so smooth it looked like velvet. Dean was staring at him from the far for a while until he was sure he was alone, judging on where his eyes travelled Dean was completly his type. Dean put on a grin and made his way through the bar.

"Hey, pretty." He said, leaning on the bar next to blue eyes. The man smiled, exposing a straight line of pearly white teeth.

"Hello." He said. His voice was deep; seemed to be too deep to come from a man that pretty. 

"You look a little thirsty to me… what should I buy you?" Every cell of Dean's body was bursting with confidence. He never got rejected. 

Continueing Dean's record the man said "Whiskey." Dean ordered two sliding one over to him.

"I'm Dean." He said, brushing his finger ver the man's when he took the glass from him.

"Castiel." He answered. The corner of Dean's motuh twitched.

"Unusual name, Cas." He said, taking a sip from his Whiskey, the liquid bruning down his throat. Castie nodded.

"I get that often." He pointed out. There was something about him. Something Dean just couldn't figure out… maybe it was how his voice didn't fit his body or… "So, Dean" Castiel barged into his thoughts. "We both know what you want only thing is you don't know that I want it too." There was definitly something about it. Dean grinned.

"Well, then why don't we take the party home, shall we?" Dean suggested. Cas downed his whiskey in one go and Dean couldn't help but stare at the way his throat moved, as he swallowed; couldn't help but imagine how that swallow would feel around him. He downed his whiskey too and then followed Cas out of the roadhouse. Damn, that ass was giving him all kinds of mental images. 

"Where's your car?" Cas asked. Dean smiled. He always loved the admiring look on his companions face when they first saw the impala. Dean opened the door of th eshiny black car, looking up at Cas. His eyes were flowing over the elegant line of chrome along Baby's sides.

"Beautiful…" He whispered and again there was something about the way he said it. Dean decided to not further think about it and just get on with it. He drove to his flat close to the roadhouse, disrespecting the speed limit just a little bit more than usually.

As soon as the door fell into the lock behind them, Cas was pressing him up agianst the door, lips pressed together and his tongue thrusting inside Dean's mouth. Dean moaned, burying his hands in Cas's hair, pulling him closer, tongues dancing and licking against each other. Then Cas was grinding against him, hard dick fubbing against Dean's thigh.

"Fuck, Cas." Dean gasped, breaking their kiss for air. "Bedroom…" Cas moaned and let himself be led to the room with the queen sized bed.

"Priorities…" Cas mumbled, looking around the room.

"It's a bedroom what do yu expect?" Dean asked. Cas pushed him onto the bed, stradling him and grinding down again. Dena groaned. He usually wasn't the one to bottom but somehow he was pefectly fine with this. Cas's hands snaked under Dean's shirt, tugging it up and over his head. When Dean was able to see again, Cas was staring down at his muscled chest, hands following the lines of his abs. Dean's hands flew to Cas's sides, sliding up that slim frame and starting to unbutton the white shirt.

When both their upper bodies were bare, Cas turned them around, pulling him into another mindblowing kisses and making short work of his jeans and boxers. Dean groaned as the fabric scraped over his dick. Cas stroked him a few times before flipping them over again. Dean's hands were on Cas's fly, pulling his pants down, discovering that he'd gone commando. He growled and grinded up. Cas kicked off his pants and Dean gasped. Cas'S cock was huge, thick and long, proudly standing curled up. He bit his lip thinking of that inside of him. 

Cas surged forward, sucking on his lip, biting it gently. Dean's hands ran over Cas's back, down to squeeze the ass he'd been fantasizing about. It was soft but also firm in his hands, perfectly round and simply hot. Cas rolled his hips, rubbing their dicks together. Dean moaned, pushing Cas closer to him, hands still on his ass. He needed more, his dick achingly hard. 

Dean reached out for his bedside drawer pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom. Cas's lips travelled down his chest, his hands kneading his thighs and now and then grazing over his balls and cock, making him squirm. When his kisses reached Dean's aching member he spread his legs wide, placing a wet, hot kiss to the tip of Dean's cock, tasting salty precome. Dean moaned.

"Damn, baby, you're huge." Cas hummed, lips still on his tip and the vibration making Dean squirm and moan. Cas licked along Dean's shaft once before moving even lower and licking along the tight muscles of Dean's hole.

"Fuck." Dean hissed, clutching the sheets and Cas started to work him open agonizingly slow. After what felt like hours, Cas's tongue dipped into him, pressing against his wall, deeper and deeper. Dean moaned, doing his best not to rock back. Soon a finger joined Cas's tongue, spreading him wider and OH- there it was. Cas flicked his tongue over the bundle of nerves and Dean groaned, back arching. Cas hummed again. Dean could feel the vibrations against his protate and he beyond painfully hard.

"Cas, hurry the fuck up…" He groaned and then Cas's tongue was gone and exchanged by two lubed up fingers, thrusting into him, scissoring his entrance open slowly. Dean hissed at the burn as a third finger was addes too soon. Cas chuckled darkly, thrusting his fingers deep into Dean. Soon Dean started rocking onto Cas's finger, trying to make him hit his prostate again. Cas moved up, kissing him. Dean could still taste himself on Cas's tongue. 

Suddenly the fingers in his hole were gone and he whined at the discomfort.

"Shh, I'm gonna fill you up real good." Cas mumbled against his limps and then he thrust in slowly. Dean groaned. It felt so good. The slightly buring stretch, the slide of Cas's lubed cock inside him. 

"Cas… move." Dean urged as Cas was seathed competly inside Dean. Cas pressed a kiss to Dean's chest and started moving, slowly at first before establishing a rhythym of almost inhuman speed. Dean moaned, heels digging into the matress, arms wrapping around Cas tightly and he started rocking with him. 

They were panting and moaning, gazing at each other, watching their partner's ecstasy. Their hair started stickign to foreheads and neck with sweat, salty drops rolling down Cas's spine as he kept thrusting into Dean, mouth falling open at the feel of Dean clenching around him.

Cas bucked his knees, changing the angle and Dean cried out as he hit his prostate, then again, again, again… Dean was close, oh so close, chanting Cas's name like a prayer, only interrupted by cries of 'faster' or 'more' and 'fuck'.

Cas felt his orgasm boil up in his stomach, slowly spreading. He reached between them stroking Dean's throbbing cock, swirling his thumb over the leaking tip. He knew Dean was close, the man writhing and moaning beneath him and then he came over Cas's hand, their abdomens and the sheets. Cas kept thrusting groaning at the way Dean tightened around him and just a few thrusts later he followed Dean over the edge, every nerve in his body struck by lightning, burning in white hot flames. 

Dean watched as Cas slipped out of him, tied up the condom and threw it into the bin. Then he cuddled up to him in the bed, burying his face in the crook of Cas's neck, smelling sweat, sex and just Cas. Yes, there was definitly something about him. 

 

The next morning Dean woke up alone, the side of the bed still slightly warm. He sat up, looking around the room. He pulled on his boxers and made his way to the kitchen, looking into the bathroom briefly. He was confused when Cas wasn't in the bathroom he supposed he'd take a morning shower… when Dean reached the kitchen he saw a note on the counter.

 

Dean,

As I said, we both knew what you wanted. I guess you got that.  
Last night was amazing, thank you.

Castiel.

 

Dean felt a sting in his heart. Wait… what?

How was he not only on the wrong side of the 'thank you'-letter but also freaking hurt?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :33


	2. Almost Lover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was ridiculous. He did not get attached! He was Dean Winchester, goddammit! And still he couldn't stop thinking of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from 'Almost Lover' by A Fine Frenzy - I think the song fits because - the way I understand it - it's about a romance that could have been with a little more effort.

Dean found himself thinking about Cas everyday… and night when those blue eyes and the sublte muscles streching over his slim body, twitching in ecstasy, returned to him in his dreams. After nights like this Dean woke up hard and every damn time he couldn't help but go through every detail of that night, imagining his hands were Cas's.

It was ridiculous. He did not get attached! He was Dean Winchester, goddammit! And still he couldn't stop… and soon he found himself sitting in the roadhouse not even trying to hit on anybody but just looking for Cas.

Castiel. 

That was all he knew about the beautiful stranger. His name. He didn't know anything else… well, except that he was the best fuck he'd ever had and also the only one he'd allowed to top without bitching. 

 

"What the hell is up with you?" His brother asked on one of the rare evenings the went out together. It was a few months after the night with Cas and Dean still couldn't stop thinking about him. It was pathetic.

"It's nothing…" Dean shrugged.

"Dean, I've known you all my life! I know you're lying." Sam accused.

"It's nothing of importance, okay?" Dean hoped he let it go like that.

"What's up, Dean? Tell me!" Sam insisted. Dean sighed.

"I don't know… I guess I've just haven't got a lot of action lately…" Dean lied. Sam shot him a bitchface. "You should have let it go, brother-dear." Dean teased.

"Okay, I'm not taking that attitude! We're gonna get you in someone's pants." Sam said. Dean laughed. 

"You're not serious, are you?" Dean asked. Sam raised one brow. "Okay…" Dean streched the word. He really wasn't in the mood for a one-night stand but he most definitely was not going to tell Sam the reason for that… how would he if he didn't even confess it to himself.

"Chose someone." Sam urged. Dean looked around the bar, finding a stranger with a little too dark black hair and a little too light blue eyes… 

"Him…" He said, looking pointedly at the man.

"Well… that's not your- forget it…" Sam said. Dean grinned and walked towards the guy.

 

He worked his magic, flirting and touching him subtly, buying him a few drinks. After about ten minutes he left the bar with the man, winking at Sam.

Dean really had no way of running away from his thoughts when he was laying on some random dude's bed and said random dude was pounding into him, moaning deliciously and elicting groans from Dean's lips. The problem was it wasn't something like 'more' or 'faster' that came out it was nothing else but 'Cas'.

Dean left without a letter that morning. He had to face it… he wasn't gonna get this man out of his head. He might as well try to find him… maybe another hot night would satisfy his mind.

Dean took a shower as soon as he got back to his flat. As he let the warm water run down his back his mind wandered.

He imagined Cas stepping into the shower with him, kissing him sofly, his hands on his shoulders and neck, playing with wet hair and making droplets of water fall and roll down over Dean's back, making him shiver. He imagined Cas pushing him against the cold tiles, grinding against him and he imagined Cas, sliding, pounding into him cock slicked up bay hot water and spit. 

Dean's hand slipped down his body, gripping his hard cock, the images of Cas enough to bring him to rock hardness. His wet hand turned into Cas's tight mouth as he closed his eyes, thumb swirling over his tip was Cas's tounge lapping and licking at the sensitive skin. Dean groaned, one hand up against the wall to steady himself.

"Goddammit, Winchester." He groaned when he got down from his haze. "You're not a girl. Geto ver it." He stepped out of the shower and decided to simply stop thinking of that beautiful blue eyed man. After all, he had a reputation to lose and he wasn't gonna turn into a pathetic lovestruck idiot for a brief fuck without meaning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :33


	3. The Man Who Can't Be Moved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The love sick idiot finally manages to fix his problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'The Man Who Can't Be Moved' - The Script

It was over a year since Dean had sex with Cas and he knew he was pathetic… but he also knew he was in love. He understood that there was no possibility of finding Cas… he understood that after two months of searching. 

So he tried to forget about him, he tried to get him out of his mind. He met other men or women, he didn't care. He tried to built up relationships but they all failed because his hair wasn't black, her eyes weren't blue, his voice was too high, she was too small, he didn't laugh just like that… 

He still didn't allow himself to think of Cas, to love Cas but he gave up on trying to love someone else and now and then he found himself sitting in the roadhouse in the same chair he'd first seen Cas in.

 

He even sat there at Chrismas Eve. Sam was spending it with Jessica's family and Dean had no other family left. So he was just eyeing his whisky not even wanting to drink it.

"You come here often?" Someone asked, leaning on the bar next to him. Dean shrugged.

"Kinda…" He said, not looking up.

"Well, I met a man here about one and a half year ago… we had the best sex I've ever had and it's quite embarassing but I can't get him out of my mind ever since." The man kept talking.

"I really don't want to talk." He said, his fingers running over the edge of his glas.

"He was tall and kind of hunky… but a pretty face and oh those green eyes…" The man started dwelling. 

"Listen, buddy…" Dean started, looking up. His breath hitched. There he was, smiling at him. That forbidden thought.

"Didn't think you'd be alone at Christmas." He said, tongue caught between his teeth in a grin. Dean just stared at him for a few heartbeats and then grinned.

"You know… I met a guy here quite a while back… he had the most wonderful blue eyes and the messiest lock I've ever seen on a guy. He was thin but not like kid thin but muscly thin… and oh, those hipbones, you could cut yourself on them… not to mention that, damn, he could move them hips." Dean said, looking Cas up and down. "I'm still thinking of him, you know… actually sitting here in hope he'd come around again." Cas griin turned into a genuine smile.

"What a tradgedy…" He trailed off.

"Oh shut up." Dean scolded and stood up, pulling him into a kiss. Cas wrapped his arms around him, pulling closer, tongue pushing into his mouth.

"And this time, don't run off in the morning" Dean mumbled against his ear when they broke apart to breathe.

 

Dean woke up that next morning, feeling a warm weight on his stomach. He looked down, finding it was Cas's arm. He smiled, suggling closer to Cas who was still out like a light, given he had moved a lot more the last night. Dean pressed a sweet kiss to his hair and began dozing off again, not really sleeping though.

"Mornin' baby." Cas mumbled a while later.

"Morning." Dean answered, resting his hand on Cas's back.

"this truely is the best Christmas Present ever…" Cas mumbled waking up a little more.

"Best sex you've ever had?" Dean asked remembering the previous evening. Cas chuckled.

"Yes." He said, moving completly on top of Dean, his elbows resting on either side of his head. Dean wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Hmm…" He hummed, sending vibrations to Cas's chest. "Maybe I can do something about that…" cas laughed as he rolled them around, pressing down on Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :33


	4. Undisclosed Desires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is having nightmares and Cas is worried, he talks to him about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for Caroline (RannieCRL)   
> Sorry, I didn't really express Cas's feelings that much... I'm just so used to writing from Dean's point of view.
> 
> inspired by 'Undisclosed Desires' by muse

The first time Dean wakes up screaming was a week after Christmas. Cas pulled him close to his chest, rubbing his hands over the muscled back. He clutched Dean tight against his chest until he stopped panting and fell asleep, his head resting on Cas's shoulder.

Cas carefully moved them back onto their sides, watching Dean for the rest of the night.

He asks him 'What did you dream last night?' in the morning. Dean answers 'Nothing'. Cas first thought that Dean may have forgotten the dream because it wasn't of importance but when it happens over and over again - two weeks after Silvester, half a week after that, five times in Feburary, two times in March - Cas understands that Dean wants to hide the contents of his dream, he wants Cas to see only the happy, lively Dean, the Dean he met in the Roadhouse.

It's the 27th of July when the nightmare really concerns Cas. He was worried about Dean, he didn't want to see hime hurt but still he never asked further than 'what did you dream last night?' He never forced Dean to tell him anything. He didn't want to scare him away. Cas knows how hard it can be to open up, he had the same problem. He knows Dean's not gonna fully trust him if he forces him to do anything. 

Anyway, when Dean wakes up that night, he screams "CAS!" Cas cradles him in his arms at once, holding him close. 

"I'm here Dean, I'm here. It's okay." He mumbles into Dean's skin, stroking through the short strands of hair in his neck and rubing his back. There's something else that's different. Dean is crying. Tears are flowing down his cheeks and wetting Cas's shoulder. Cas kisses his hair.

"Dean, tell me what you dreamt." He whispers. It's the first time he's asked this in the night and not when they were drinking their morning coffee.

"Cas…I don't…" His voice is broken and rough. Cas cradles his face in his hands.

"it's okay, my love. You can tell me." Cas promises. "Just, please, tell me so I can help. I want to help you." It takes Dean a while to stop crying. When his breath is steady again he speaks.

"I… I dreamt… It was new… about you." His voice breaks. Cas presses their foreheads together.

"Breathe, Dean." He says as he hears Dean's breaths turning into sobs again. "I'm fine, there's nothing to worry about." Dean takes a few deep breaths.

"You… you weren't there." Dean whispers. Cas kisses Dean softly, reassuring.

"Dean, I'm here. I'll stay with you as long as you want me. There is nothing you have to be scared of." Cas assures him.

"No, Cas, you don't understand… you were dead…" Dean explains. Then he starts sobbing again. "I dreamt I lost you like I lose everybody." The words are slurred but Cas understands… or he doesn't he understands the words but not the meaning. Who did Dean lose? Why was he so scared of death? It hurt Cas to see Dean suffering, it hurt that he couldn't help.

"Dean, calm down, my love. Whom did you lose?" Cas asks. Dean shakes his head softly against Cas's forehead. Cas pulls back a little to look at him. 

"Dean, I can't help you if you don't tell me-" He urges.

"You can't help me anyway! Noone can!" Dean shouts. Cas strokes his cheek with his thumb.

"I can try and I can always listen." He says softly. Another tears runs down Dean's cheek and he closes his eyes.

"I don't want you to know… I don't want you to think I'm weak." Dean whispers.

"Hey," Cas starts. "I love you, Dean. And that won't change, okay? You can tell me everything. I won't judge you or leave you. I want to know everything about you." Cas smiles rubbing his ceeks. He hopes he hasn't pushed Dean too far.

"Thank you, Cas." Dean whispers. "I… I don't know… can I… " Dean opens his eyes. "I love you, Cas. You're the first person I've ever loved. I had little relationships… mostly in the year I tried to forget you… it never worked out, I always got hurt." Dean takes Cas's hands and pulls them off his face. Cas swallows. Even know Dean looks incredibly frightened.

"Dean, you don't-" Cas starts.

"It's okay, Cas." Dean says. "I'm afraid, I'm really afraid. I've never felt so much and I'm afraid I'll get hurt more than ever." Cas squeezed his hands. "I've never been able to trust. I don't think I'll ever be fully able to. But Cas… I trust you, as much as I can… I do want you to know this but I'm just scared you'll see me too different to love me. My mother died when I was four. Sammy was only half a year old… it was terrible. Sam never got to know her and Dad didn't get over it. I had to raise Sammy and I loved doing it but I just… I never got to be a child." Cas is sure that he sees tears in Dean's eyes but Dean turns away. 

"My father was abusive." Dean says. "He died when I was sixteen, liver disease and lack of health insurence or money - for that matter… and noone would donate a liver for a drunk with no intention of not drinking. So I was alone with twelve year old Sam and I did everything to ensure he got the live he deserved to live." Now a tear falls on the matress.

"I gave him to an old coworker of my father. They'd been friends but he only had room for one… so I left him there… he didn't want me to leave but I told him it was better that way, I told him he'd actually get to be a child and that he'd get an education." Dean sighs. "I left, driving to whereever I could get work. Most of the time I lived in my car. I didn't finish high-school and all that I could do was fix cars. That's how I became a mechanic…" Dean looks at Cas. "I've never had a home Cas, I never had someone to come home to and the only thing I did right was ensurering that my brother would. I kept being with the wrong people and with ever little or big mistake I closed further… that's how I became the man you first had sex with… you opened me up, you took away the insecurities… well, not all of them but most of them and you made me who I am." Dean places his hand on Cas's cheek. "I need you." His eyes are big and green, pupils wide in the dark of their bedroom at night. He looks pleading and scared. He looks like a child who doesn't know where ist parents are.

"I'll always be here, Dean. I won't hurt you." He answers, placing his hand over Dean's. "I'm sorry you've been through so much and I hope I can show you that live can be happy, that you don't have to hide who you are… that the side of yourself you just showed me isn't weak but incredibly beautiful. You are strong, Dean. You've been knocked out by life more than enough and yet you're still standing, you fought for your little brother and you fought for love… you wouldn't have tried so hard if you were weak." Cas leans closer. "I love you, now more than ever." Dean smiles and lets out a relieved breath.

"Thank you, Cas." Dean says. They settle back down, Dean tightly wrapped in Cas's arms and his forehead resting on Cas's shoulder.

"Dean…?" Cas asks after a few breaths.

"Yeah?" Dean hums.

"You said… the nightmare changed into me dying… can you tell me what it was before?" Cas asks. Dean tenses for a moment.

"You don't have to, my love, I'd just… I'd like to know." Cas adds. Dean looks up at him and kisses him.

"Maybe another day, love, I'm tired." Castiel nodds and kisses Dean before both of them fall alsleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :33


	5. Radioactive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF VIOLENCE!!!!!!
> 
> Dean is having Nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by 'Radioactive' by Imagine Dragons

When Dean woke up, he felt warm. Not sun shining through the window onto his bare back-warm but fire burning next to his face-warm. Everything was hot and the air was dry. 

Dean sat up and looked around. It vaguely looked like his bedroom. It had the same shape and the 'bed' had the same size but it was completly burnt down. The bed was only the metal frame and a thin blanket. He could feel the metal poking and pinching him, digging into his legs. He got up. He was wearing something like an army uniform with a thigh holster. There were only ruins of walls no ceiling. He stepped over the remainings of the wall what had been his garden eight hours ago. The earth was dry and hard, warmed up by the unforgiving sun burning down from the cloudless, sickening sky. 

The air tasted funny on his mouth. Thick and old. He coughed, tyring to get rid of the taste.

The houses that had once stood proud and white along the street were dirtyish brown and yellow, some of them pitch black. Only few of them had more that one wall. He stumbled down the road, the thick air clouding his brain.

It was so wrong, so wrong…

Cas… where was Cas? Dean looked back to the ruin that had once been their house - the house they had bought far too early, the house that stood for their almost foolish love. 

"Cas?" He tried to scream. It came out as a rough croak, his throat dry and sore ber he screamed again and again CAS, CAS, CAS, CAS…

The sun was setting when he found him, the dirty brown world tinted in gold and red, making it look as if it was on fire all over again. Cas was curled against one of the ruins. He was coughing, choking.

"Cas!" Dean croaked, his voice hoarse and his throat aching. He kneeled down in front of him.

"Dean…" Cas croaked back, his voice sounded strangled and simply wrong. He was weak and shaken by shivers and He coughing fits. 

"Cas, what's wrong?" He asked, taking his lovers face into his hand. 

"Poison, Dean…" Cas pressed out. Cas's eyelids fluttered and his eyes rolled back and then Dean realised. His throat wasn't dry, it was burning, the air was like acid keeping him alive but killing him at the same time, there was too few oxigen… not enought oxy-

 

When Dean woke up, he felt warm. Not hot body curled up against him warm but fucking 600°F warm. Everything was burning around him, the air was on fire.

Dean couldn't move, he was pinned to something but as soon as he'd try to tug himself free, a burning pain would run through his muscles. There was definitely something pinning him down. He was nailed to something… though he didn't feel anything against his back but burning fire.

He tried to look around, almost having to throw up. There were large meathooks buried in his shoulders, hands, side, everywhere and whenever he tried to get off they's dig deeper into his flesh, he found himself wishing he was back in the acid filled burnt world.

He knew this was a dream, he just knew it… but he couldn't wake up and he couldn't make the pain stop. He cried out.

First wordless cries in agony and pain and then he formed words. CAS, PLEASE, CAS! HELP ME! Repeating it over and over again. CAS, PLEASE, CAS! HELP ME!

Then he felt a knew pain, cold metal digging into the parts of his body, the meathooks didn't reach. It felt good at first, the cold metal against his burning skin but then there was pain and warm blood and salty sweat biting into the knew wound and he was screaming again.

He didn't know how long he endured the pain. He barely noticed the changes in the pain, if he was stabbed or parts of his flesh cut out, if the blade was dragged through his skin, carving and slicing him open, barely leaving any part of his body untouched.

He stopped screaming, he stopped making sounds and he stopped hoping for rescue, he didn't know how much time passed until he passed out.

 

When Dean woke up, he felt cold. Not blanket slipping off his body while sleeping cold but total absence of sun cold. Everything felt as cold as ice, the air frozen around him.

Dean sat up, the floor hard and wet. It looked like a forest but not green. Dean had the feeling of being watched and he was on his feet, shivering again. As far as he knew he was wearing four layers of clothing but the cold clung to his bones, hugging him tight and creeping under his jackets, making the hair in the back of his neck stand up. He looked around, there was noone to be seen. Only trees and bushes, not flowers, no colours, no sky, no sun.

He felt anxious, as if he had to fight for his live any moment and then he started running. He tripped and got back up again thorns tugging at his clothes, his hands, stinging him and drawing blood when reaching his skin. He was panting, chased by nothing and yet everything he looked over his shoulder with almost ever step. He fell again and again and he didn't dare to call for help.

He knew he was dreaming but he couldn't snap out of him and he didn't want to wake up, afraid of what horrors might await him in the next world. He liked this… compared with the other. There was no acid burning down his throat and there was no fire licking at his skin, no meathooks in his flesh, crushing his bones, only the invisible eyes watching his every move, unseen creatures behind his back disappearing as soon as he turned.

It was horrible but there was no pain… that was except for the creeping pain of the scrates and thorns in his arms and face. It was slow and barely noticable but he became slower, his movements heavy and his blood circulating slower. Venom. He thought before he fell over and everything went black.

 

When Dean wakes up, he feels warm. Not fire burning next to his face warm and not 600°F warm. He takes a deep breath, the air feels cold and soft, it's not poisonous or on fire. He feels the warmth of a soft blanket covering him and protecting him from the cold seeping into the room. He feels a soft matress beneath him, it's warm and dry so different from the cold forest floor or the metal bed. He shifts and finds himself free of any bondages. He takes another deep breath and sits up. He's still afraid what he'll see and his heart is racing in his chest.

He looks around carefully. The room is dark but he can't recognize any threats and he's not being watched. He jumps a little when he feels a warm hand on his rapidly cooling back. It's soothing and smooth.

"Nightmare?" Cas mumbles next to him, still buried underneath his covers. Dean sinks back to the matress, facing his lover.

"Yeah." He says and cuddles a little bit closer, not falling asleep again.

 

Dean spends the rest of the day worried that this is another one of the horrible nightmares and that something unthinkable will happen some time during the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading :33 (I'm sorry)


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